Pussy Makes The World Go Around

Yesterday the #GOP sat with Donald Trump to discuss healthcare. One of the main things they discussed was Women’s healthcare issues. Not ONE woman was there. All men. All wealthy men. These men did not feel mammograms should be covered by insurance because as one stated “I don’t have breasts”. Another that sat at the table doesn’t think maternity should be covered not everyone has children. Another said older men shouldn’t have to pay for it because wait for it, they are no longer having children. Donald Trump’s youngest child was born when he was 59. He was not the only man at that table on his 2nd or 3rd marriage to a younger woman who had started a second or third family. Yesterday while all this was going on a poll came out that men had taken that indicated that 52% of them had not benefited from contraception coverage under “ObamaCare”.
Now, this is where this post will no longer be suitable for work. This will also be where I become a “nasty” woman.
Pussy is what makes the world go around. When you wonder why women march here is some of the many reasons. While you sit there and feel all smug and equal and think that women have a fair shot if they just do XYZ when men just have to be born you have missed the point. When you say you are not a feminist because you feel you have never been sexually harassed in the work place and women who have deserved it or that you don’t hate men I want you to think about why in 2017 we have to continue to fight for equal pay, paid maternity leave, insurance coverage, access to affordable birth control, safe and legal abortion, cancer coverage, and well care coverage for the children we birth. When politicians and judges allow rapist to go free because boys will be boys and place blame on women because of how they dress or where they go at night. When you have a President who thinks he can force advances on women and grab them by the pussy – that is why we March.
While these men, who claim to get no benefit from having to “pay” for women’s healthcare coverage I say this – Whether gay or straight you came from a womb. You have a direct relationship to PUSSY in this world and you should care. Whether born from it or fucking it it should matter. Your mothers, wives, and daughters should matter. You may not have breasts but you either sucked on them after birth or sucked on them later. You disgusting, privileged men will by your mistresses fake fucking titties but you have a problem paying for mammograms? Give me a fucking break.
Am I angry – YES! Because I shouldn’t have to fight for mammogram coverage and breast reconstruction surgeries in 2017. I shouldn’t have to fight for CANCER screenings and pap smears because some old white man who thinks because he doesn’t have a vagina shouldn’t have to contribute. I shouldn’t have to fight for accessible, affordable birth control when WE as entire country benefit from family planning, reduction of teen pregnancy, reduction of unwanted pregnancy, etc etc etc. I shouldn’t have to fight for maternity care coverage and well baby coverage to be covered by insurance with the abundance of wealth we have in this country.
Maybe you really think these women’s issues do not apply to you. Maybe you think that because you have a penis or that you are a woman who feel that fighting for these rights means you are a man hater I have some more to say – WOMEN make the world go around. I absolutely believe we bring more to the table than men. There I said it. Are you happy now? Without pussies and breasts where in the hell would the rest of the planet be? The next time you ask and wonder why large bodies of “nasty” women march and wear pussy hats – THIS IS WHY. Because while you may not think that it applies to you, just remember that you came from pussy and probably at the end of your God forsaken life you will be cared for by someone with a pussy. The next time you as a woman get a mammogram or a cancer screening that doesn’t cost you several pay checks remember this is why NASTY WOMEN MARCHED. When you are able to get cancer treatment for ovarian, uterine or breast cancer remember that some OLD, WHITE, REPUBLICAN wanted to take that away from you.
It literally costs pennies from each and everyone of us to cover women’s healthcare issues and affordable birth control. PENNIES. Loose change you could find in your car each month. Maybe you as individual will never need it but someone you love will. Pussy makes the world go around, nasty women get things done, and if we all disappeared what would happen then?

Posted in Politics, Social Issues, This Might Be About You, Women's Issues | Leave a comment

Prerequisites Before Getting Married

It is hard to believe that I have been married for nearly 24 years. I’m not the easiest person to have a romantic relationship with. I’m demanding, bossy, and have fixated ideas on how things should be done. I set the bar pretty high when I got married and I fully intended on having a working partnership til death do us part. However we have been through three rounds of marriage counseling on this journey.

The first time we went to marriage counseling probably could have been avoided had we gone to premarital counseling. And I don’t mean those few sessions you go with your spiritual adviser or pastor before they will marry you. When I say premarital counseling I am talking about digging deep and asking the hard questions like:

Which way does the toilet paper go?

What side of the bed do you sleep on? cold nature or hot nature? covers or no covers?

How good are you with money? spender? saver?

Do you do dishes? take out the trash? mop? windows?

Before you get married you may not think these are all that important, especially if you are not living together at first or it is a short whirl wind engagement like mine and Mr. K’s. The truth is these are important questions because these will be the very questions that create your biggest arguments and cause hurt feelings. When Mr. K and I married he had no idea there was a wrong way to make a bed or fold towels but he wasn’t the daughter of a Marine. I surely didn’t expect dirty socks and underwear under the bed and dirty clothes to be tossed behind the bathroom door. After all these years of marriage I can look back and see these things as trivial compared to what we faced as loved ones died, children were born, and dealing with the curve balls life throws at you however it is these small trivial things that point out the flaws in our character.

So here is my assvice for couples considering getting married – get comprehensive premarital counseling. Discuss conflict resolution and how conflict was handled in your individual families. Talk about money, how the money will be managed, and who will be paying the bills. Children. Not just if you want them or not but if one of you will be staying at home, how they will be disciplined and educated. Address household chores and responsibilities. Don’t just assume that it will be 50/50 especially if your marry someone who doesn’t know how to cook or know the first thing about how to do laundry or who may have never sweated in the heat of summer doing yard work. These are the things that may make or break those first few years of marriage.

Additionally I suggest doing multiple things together that may seem outside the realm of your dating life and romantic moments. The first year of marriage is often full of great sex and discovering new things about each other, especially if you did not live together before hand. At the same time it is also about letting your guard down and being comfortable enough with another person that your character and soul are completely exposed, the light and the dark sides of it. And while some of these tasks I am about to suggest may be funny they also expose that nature of who someone is and you may decided you don’t like who that person is.

  • Go on a 3-5 mile round trip hike in your state. If I was ever in a position to date again after the initial first date or two I would suggest going on an outdoor adventure to see if the relationship needed to go further. Hiking, canoeing or kayaking will tell you a lot about another person. Hiking will show you how prepared someone is for a half day to day adventure out in the elements. Will they talk the entire time? Will there be moments of silence? Will they just be focused on getting to the end? Will they want to pause along the way and breathe in their surroundings? And kayaking and canoeing exposes even more. Canoeing takes two people working together to get where they are going. It involves communicating and working in-sic. With a tandem kayak it doesn’t necessarily take two to get where you are going but it may show someone if the other person is willing to participate in getting them there. Not too long ago Mr. K and I went kayaking and came across two couples in tandem kayaks. One couple  worked together paddling and when stopped they passed each other drinks and snacks and laughed. The other couple the girl literally did nothing. She was strictly a passenger, who was drinking wine coolers and playing on her phone, while the guy in the seat behind her was doing all the work. She wasn’t engaged at all – in him or the abundance of nature she was surrounded by.
  • It may not be Christmas time when you decide to say I do but I highly recommend putting lights on a Christmas tree together using multiple strands and making sure every single one works. You might laugh and say you will just buy the pre-lit tree but there will be a time in your marriage when you do something that is as ridiculous and tedious as this activity. Nothing brings out the worst then putting lights on a Christmas tree properly. Do you start at the top or the bottom? Do you just throw them up there or do you go branch by branch? It is during this activity you will discover the patience of your partner.
  • Build something together or do a major household project. Maybe you don’t have a home yet, offer to do one for the future in laws but if that is not possible I am going to suggest building a piece of furniture together or going to IKEA and buying a piece of furniture that says assembly required. Nothing demonstrates character more than watching how someone handles frustration and how they deal with people around them, whether in conflict or not.
  • Take a road trip together. This was not one I had thought of before but a friend suggested it on my Facebook page and the more I thought about it the more I realized this should be included. Someone even said taking said road trip without the modern convenience of GPS. Mr. K and I have taken several road trips together. Luckily we have similar ideas about our adventures. We eat local when we travel. We take the back roads. We stop and visit weird and quaint places and love every minute of it but this is not for everyone. That being said he doesn’t take directions well. I hate getting lost. Traffic jams and road construction stress me out. We have had more arguments in the car about how to get from point A to B then we have had about parenting. If it wasn’t for the sex and the food we might would have killed each other. If you can’t take a road trip together or a vacation then just don’t get married because life is full of bumps in the road and unexpected detours.

Marriage is hard but doing it with the right partner is rewarding. It is not about 50/50 but about two people each giving it 100 percent and doing their absolute best even when one of you may be at your absolute worst.

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5 Ways You Have Exposed Your Bigotry On Facebook

For all intense and purposes your Facebook page looks generic compared to some people on your Friend List. You tend to post happy family photographs, funny cat pictures, and the occasional status that is non-controversial and probably related to something you ate. For good measure you may post something uplifting and spiritual every now and then because you’re a nice person after all. Or you at least want people to think that.

Then people begin to unfriend you on Facebook without provocation. They even may become distant when they see you in person. Worse yet, you realize you have been BLOCKED by people you considered friends. Your favorite cousin is no longer in your Newsfeed and your invitation to your neighbors annual BBQ got lost somewhere in cyber space. You are bewildered as to why because you are not controversial in the least. Well, wonder no more because I am going to share with you five ways you have exposed to everyone that you are a closeted asshole.

  1. The Comments On Public Pages  Your social media looks like an explosion of happiness and positive energy. You’ve worked hard at keeping things as bland as possible with pictures of cute kids and animals. Everything you post is through a filter of not offending anyone. But then you go to your local News Media page on Facebook and decide to add your 2 cents to the comment section on what you feel is a cut and dry issue. Surely everyone knows that boys should not use the girls restroom at school and gender identity is a lie of the devil. You decided to post that you do not want men in the restroom with your daughter even though that “man” has double D breasts and looks better in a dress than you do. You then go to list a host of nonfactual reasons and religious bias to back up your feelings on the subject but what you don’t realize is that your comment is now being seen by all your friends in their Newsfeed. Whether is is about politics, police brutality, or a businesses refusing to serve someone based on their sexual orientation everyone now knows you are not only intolerant of others but that it is rooted in alternative facts and that you use Jesus to hide behind it.
  2. Liked Pages I continue to be surprised that people do not realize that the entire social media world can see the pages you “like”. You probably do not mind that people can see that your favorite college football team is Alabama or that you “liked” a page of a sick person in your church that needs help. What you may not realize is that they also see that you read alt-right news media and fan over Milo Yiannopolous. Your friends can see that you have liked pages that have neo-nazi roots, degrade women, the disabled, and people of other faiths. What you thought was hidden and would never mention around your friends of color or while you are working with LGBTQ individuals they can now see as plain as the hand in front of them.
  3. Comments On Your Friends’ Pages That are Public Or Friends of Friends Not all posts on Facebook have the same privacy settings. You may have your posts set to friends only or a select group of people but others may have theirs geared toward a public audience. If the post isn’t set to be open for the world to see it may be set so that friends of friends can see and read their posts. You may not have realized this when you decided to comment on your Uncle’s post about how Trayvon Martin deserved to be shot and that you agreed to be seen by the black couple that sits on the same pew as you at church. That discussion you got into about the ills of gay marriage on your girlfriend’s post you may not have wanted your gay cousin to read or the gay hairdresser that does your hair on a regular basis. Your comments calling political opponents names and making fun of them you may not have intended for your best friend to see that is different than you.
  4. “Liking” Posts On Your Friends Pages You think this is benign behavior. You don’t understand that it could be revealing the heart of who you are. You may not engage in controversial discussion and are careful about publicly liking any page that is not your favorite eatery or a movie you recently saw. You feel like you have this privacy thing on Facebook managed pretty well. Smart phone in hand scrolling through your feed you find this meme funny that references a lynching of Obama so you press the thumbs up button. You and the person who posted it are like minded individuals who “get each other” but you had no idea that your friend who is married to a black man and has biracial children saw what you did. The thing is when you like offensive memes on Facebook or those that demean others based on sexuality, race or religion they are  micro-aggressions.
  5. Groups You may not realize that the Group you just joined is visible to the public. You may believe your membership is hidden or that posts inside the group cannot be seen. Many groups these days are “Closed” but this only means that those outside the group cannot see what is posted inside. Membership is still visible to the public and your friends may be able to see what groups you are in – Public and Closed and even advertised to them in a way to garner more membership. Whether it be the local Swingers Club, the Neighborhood Watch, or the Alt-Right Homeschool Group you just joined, unless it is set to “Secret” your friends can see what groups you belong too.

So the next time you wonder why someone you were friends with, either in real life or on Facebook, unfriended you it is doubtful that it was about your political beliefs and more about showing your true character if you are guilty of any of the above.

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Normalizing the “Gay Lifestyle” In Beauty and The Beast

Last week it was announced that Disney’s new live-action film, Beauty and The Beast, would feature an openly gay character who would be having a gay moment in the film. This revelation, just weeks before it’s release (how timely) has caused quite a bit of controversy among Christian Conservatives. Between Matt Walsh and Franklin Graham’s outrage, a number of pastors and even a small drive in theater in Alabama are boycotting the film because being gay is a sin but beastiality is perfectly normal.

This is where Conservative Christians begin to show their hypocrisy and paint those of us who follow Jesus as having skewed morality. It is perfectly fine for a young woman to be taken captive by a beast, who emotionally abuses her, and develops Stockholm Syndrome but its wrong for a character to openly be gay – in a musical. Yet it is this coming out that makes this film no longer family friendly.

Conservative Christians have had a long battle of criticizing Disney films, some with valid points that I can agree with. I can think of many reasons why Disney films are not family friendly but having an openly gay character that has a “gay moment” (what is that anyway?) would not be one of them. Unless their is two gay characters acting out a sex scene I am thinking that the moment won’t be much different than any other moment featured between two heterosexual romantically involved couples. If Christians haven’t had a problem with all the kissing and public displays of affection in Disney films in the past I am not sure why they should all the sudden have a problem now.

I know, I know, its that “gay lifestyle” they are opposed too. More on that in a moment.

Seriously, if we are going to attack Disney for having moments that are not family friendly lets get to addressing the sexual innuendos that are present in most of their films. If it is not actual verbal references it is animated references to sex. I’m more concerned about violence, especially its normalization towards children and women, often seen in Disney films. Murder is an ever pressing theme, often between relatives like in the Lion King, and let us not forget the evil step-mothers in Snow White and Cinderella. I recognize that murder and death are part of the mythical hero’s journey but there is an ongoing theme among many of the movies that involve princesses that include forced marriage, physical and emotional abuse, and sexual seduction and forced sexual interactions. These are the pressing moral values that need to be addressed, not the sexual identity of one of the characters.

But back to the “gay lifestyle” and it being forced on America. This is where I am left scratching my head. How alternative is the gay lifestyle? What is it exactly makes the lifestyle of LGBTQ individuals so offensive?

I have to admit that I know a lot of LGBTQ individuals, families that are headed by two same sex individuals, and I even have a gay son. Besides some cultural, social, and economical differences I am not spotting any great variance in “lifestyle”. We all tend to share the same core family values and put on our pants or skirts the same way. Frankly I find a lot of my same-sex friends a bit boring in the lifestyle department. From what I had heard growing up (and even now) from far right-Christians I imagined wild parties with orgies and copious amounts of drugs and alcohol. If this is what you believe I can assure you the reality will be a HUGE disappointment. The reality is they come home from work to get in their pajamas and cuddle with their pets and binge watch stuff on television, or the same nightly routine that most of us have with our children which include carpool and homework. Nothing nefarious going on at all.

The thing is when someone says they don’t agree with someone’s lifestyle when concerning LGBTQ individuals or families they are not talking about their spending habits, individual wealth, dress, or how they behave and interact with others they  are referencing their sex life. Try nailing down someone who says “I just don’t agree with their lifestyle” or “Their lifestyle is a sin” on what exactly they are against and they begin to stammer or hem and haul around what the real issues is – oral or anal sex. Consensual sex that they too likely engage in. The judgment of the individual is narrowed down not on who they are but what they do privately. If I am not mistaken this is what Jesus spoke out against. (Luke 6:37-42) Knowing someone by their fruits has practically nothing to do with who they are sexually attracted to and who they are consensually engaging in sex with but that is the measuring stick conservative Christians are condemning by.

The other thing that leads many Christians to judge and condemn homosexuality is not because of what they believe the Bible says but what it doesn’t say and what Jesus did not say. The fact is the Bible does not once mention homosexuality in relation to sexual orientation (not even those six verses many homophobic Christians tout), though it does reference asexual individuals and it clearly states that they were born that way. (Matthew 19:12) Historically homosexuality was around when Jesus was alive and traveling and I am sure, since he hung out with the cast offs of society and with those judged harshly for their supposed sins of the time, that he came in contact with plenty of homosexuals and yet their is no reference in the Bible to Jesus even mentioning it. If it was all that important one would think that would have been included.

However it is my belief that many people who tend to beat the dead horse to death on homosexuality being an alternative lifestyle and abomination (like Ted Haggard did) is that it is rooted and fear and shame. The reality is is that our sexuality is fluid and this is seen throughout the animal world. Many of these people have sexual obsessions or hidden sexual feelings that they are scared to acknowledge or deal with for a host of reasons. ( I’m looking at you Matt Walsh) It could be rooted in abuse or addictions or both. The pastor in the pulpit or the Bible study leader who keeps hammering on the sins of others is likely dealing with their own failings as a human being in that area.

And last but not least – What is so wrong with having a character in a film be openly gay? LGBTQ individuals are everywhere and a part of our society and communities. They contribute in every way whether that be the tithe at church or the taxes they pay to the government. Is it not about time that they be represented in all parts of our society? Don’t my children have the right to see a positive display of LGBTQ individuals on the big screen or is that a privilege only straight people should have? This isn’t about a gay agenda, it is about treating ALL people fair and equally. Narrow-mindedness based on religious beliefs has no place in our society. It is time for all Christians to stop rooting their bigotry in false doctrine and following the teachings of Jesus Christ which was love, grace, compassion, and forgiveness. Every Christian who claims to worship/follow Jesus must keep in the forefront of their mind that Jesus was always about the relationship with individuals and not the rules (legalism).

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It’s A Beautiful Wreck Take 2

I hope I can still do this.

Three years ago I ended my blog when it looked like after a very hard year of marriage to Mr. K  I was back on top of the world. All was well. I had weathered another storm and had come out better for it, or so I thought. It is not that I no longer had anything left to write about, I had plenty, but I had kids who were not too sure about me writing about our lives and what we as a family had been going through. And so I got quiet.

And right when I thought my world had settled down it got totally flipped upside down. Months after my last post my marriage imploded and I made the decision to end my marriage. Not wanting to wreck our oldest daughter’s senior year of high school we agreed to fake it for the next school year. And we did for months. He slept on the floor with the dog and two cats and outside of our bedroom our life looked like it always had.

Six months later my health took a downward spiral. I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery and got a staph infection and then five weeks later after being misdiagnosed for 11 days I was admitted into the hospital with spinal meningitis. Nothing like coming close to meeting Jesus to send set your life on a completely different path.

And I decided to give Mr. K another chance.

And we moved to another house.

And I have a kid in college, two teenage sons who are both dating, and two pre-teen daughters. There may also be more than a few animals.

And I have some lasting effects from having had spinal meningitis, which make life frustrating and also humbling.

I’m still opinionated and passionate and wordy which is why I decided to start blogging again. If you stick around I will make you laugh, cry, scream, and probably piss you off.

Thanks for taking the time to read my words.

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